Top Recent Items My Dog Has Pulled Off of the Counter and Eaten or Attempted To Eat:

1. Box of sugar cubes (Finest Demarrara! For when the Queen visits or one is yearning for a cavity.)
2. Package steel wool (Self help for tartar build up?)
3. Approximately 37 lbs of cheese (I wouldn't resent this nearly as much if he didn't insist on gulping it down without even TASTING it!)
4. Cow's lifetime supply of butter.
5. Ziploc bag of salt (If he'd just SAID he had paw cramps, I would have been glad to massage)
6. Lovely gift-wrapped block of home-made soap which, to be fair, did look an awful lot like cheese.
7. Two solid ottoman-sized Chocolate Frogs from Harry Potter world.
8. Full bag of organic Fair Trade Sumatra coffee beans. (I applaud his ethics)
No. His health did not suffer after any of these adventures. At All. Not even in the least little maybe-this-will-put-me-off-counter-surfing-in-the-future bit.
To be, no doubt, continued.
P.S. I love him.
P.S.S. I'm juuuuuust remembering that I left a jar of pickled herring out.....Got to go!